nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
