if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
