Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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