I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
