I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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