Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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