it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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