playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
