There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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