just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
