She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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