come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im six kinds of drunk right now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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