...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
