I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found puke in my bra..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize