This girl is more easily done than said...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
