ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You're a waste of cheezeits
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
