...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
