I wanna bring you to show and tell
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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