we're blogging at a bar
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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