we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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