it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize