There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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