the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize