I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
