I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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