I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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