You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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