hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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