Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
this is an emotional support booty call
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
