Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
