dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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