Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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