I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
