6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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