are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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