Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize