she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
