his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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