what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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