farters have to be the big spoon...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
