I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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