Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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