have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
