So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
