I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
