Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
