mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
