Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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