I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize