You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
