Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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