the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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