guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
