So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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