Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
