i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
