I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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