they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Randomize
