Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize