She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
